What you can do to control your body language

People have been using body language to communicate with one another for millions of years. It actually precedes verbal communication. We all read body language, from a father’s grim expression to the slump in a friend’s shoulders, when something is wrong.

Body language, also called “kinesics” involves nonverbal communication which is often unconsciously expressed by humans by means of their “varying facial expressions, gestures, touch, use of space, body posture”, among others. It is not always easy to interpret and can be quite confusing at times as many impulses are understood differently in different countries depending on the  cultural context, but the main emotions expressed are usually common- joy, anger, sadness, anxiety, terror and the like. It is a continuous process but does not have any fixed structure. While words can be untrue, body language is rarely dishonest. So it may be wiser to trust body language rather than what the other person is saying. Except for con artists and seasoned actors, very few people can hide their true feelings from their body language.

Some basic body language indicators are :

·         How the body is positioned

·         The physical distance between people

·         Facial expressions

·         Movement of the eyes, including whether pupils are dilated or not

·         Interactions through touch and body contact

·         Breathing rate, fast or slow

·         Perspiration

Attitude, reactions and feelings

All these indicators can show a person’s attitude, reactions and feelings about people, about situations and about conversations.

People can determine what you feel or what you mean by reading your body language even if you are not always aware of the signals you send out. There are some things you can do to control your body language and project an image that is positive in nature. Follow these cues to appear to be a confident person.

·         Standing with feet apart and hands on hips helps increase testosterone, aids risk taking and raises self belief. It is rightly called the power position.

·         Be aware of your facial expressions – even micro-expressions can convey feelings and attitudes.

·         Be careful and control these expressions so that you do not show negative feelings.

·         Don’t slump or slouch – it indicates discontentment and lack of confidence.

·         Do not shake your legs when seated – it conveys nervousness and is unprofessional and off putting.

·         Walk with your chin up to show confidence and openness

·         Do not put hands into pocket as it projects insecurity.

·         Crossing your arms indicates being defensive and reluctance

·         Thumbs touching each other on opposite hands shows confidence and deep thinking

·         Shake hands vertically and equally to convey honesty, trust and an equal relationship